Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
