Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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