just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
