I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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