dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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