Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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