I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
