Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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