Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
did you just send me my own nude
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Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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