I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
