If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I came so hard my ears popped.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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