i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize