The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just want nice things and good sex
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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