Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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