I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
