He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
