I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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