I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
we should paint friendship bongs
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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