i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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