On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
