quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
