I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
