I think I am morally bankrupt
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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