But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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