Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
