i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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