I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
