I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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