i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
why do cheetos always look like penises
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
