id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
