i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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