What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
