i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
