sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
