I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
