I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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