but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
