Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize