Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
