Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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