hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Drake has all the answers
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize