They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
