i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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