Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
