problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
