That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This is not my ceiling
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
