You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
