There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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