I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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