The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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