She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
