I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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