So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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