It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
