Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My breasts were aching with rage.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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