I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
operation harelip BJ is a go
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
