i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
