Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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