Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
